jaadu hai

memories of memories.
things i saw but didn’t see.

melodies of melodies.
dreams i saw but didn’t see.

There is a certain delight in putting words together.
Though I’m not sure if the delight is certain.
After a while of not having written, you forget about this delight.
It is only the action itself that can remind you.
It is only the act that brings you back.

My clothes are tumbling in the washer.

At some point I realize that I am turning time into nothingness.
This realization seeps right into my bones.
Then motion becomes the mind’s mission.
There are better ways to treat the mind.
There are better ways to dance to the world’s music.

I’m going to go do laundry now.

I like it when weather happens.

Oh, yes! The delays! The delays! How dreadful. Let’s complain as if somehow this pain shouldn’t touch us. As if somehow we should be free from this pain. I like that the weather annoys us. I like it that it leaves us troubled. Because there is pain otherwise, and there are troubles otherwise. Today they are ours, too.

I like it when weather happens because it reminds us that we are not in control of all the things. That the wheels of the universe spin with or without us. The gears still churn. Look at us. We can compound concrete into tall buildings. We can bend electric currents to our wills. We can send messages from one round corner of our earth to the other. Look at all the systems and nations we have built.

And then there is the weather. Here to remind us again. I like this reminder that the weather affords me.

And how odd it is the world that we have created. How odd it is that we will toil and tremble through this weather to get to work. How odd it is that we build schools like prisons and demand attendance over learning. How odd is it that amidst all this the world that we have created won’t allow us to press pause and take a breath. To say, hey, let’s go down to the communal place with loved ones and strangers, let’s share stories and bake cakes.

We didn’t need the weather to trouble us. We were already there.