what’s up doc?

My eyes have been dry for ages. Not my eyes, but my eye lids. The skin, it gets dry and starts to get flaky. I know this looks weird to those who have to see it, but given the design of the human body I’m exempt from having to look at my face. The glasses also do a good job of hiding the dry skin. This is all not a problem. The problem is pain. It is a problem when the dryness becomes painful.

This coupled with a sore throat that also delivered much pain resulted in a visit to the doctor. Trust me, I resisted for a while, but finally gave in. This is the same doctor as the last time.

I played with the cards while waiting to be called into the room. But when in the room I just lay the cards on the table and just sat there. I noticed a sign, custom made, that said: ONE PATIENT = ONE VISIT = ONE PROBLEM. I did not like this sign. In part due to the fact that I had two problems on this particular day, but also because I think it’s absurd.

The doctor comes into the room with my file. He said, “Hey, how are you doing?”

“Absolutely fantastic. It’s been a pleasure. I’ll be on my way now.”, I responded as I stood up and started to walk towards the door. He laughed.

I started off with the sore throat problem. I hate it when that gets worse. It’d be nice if things were just solved automatically with a few hours of good sleep. But this sore throat/trouble breathing and gulping thing seems to happen to me a lot. It’s the same reason I was there the last time.

While checking out my throat the doctor asked me if I was performing, he had noticed the deck of cards. I told him I was not. “Then what are you doing?”. “Just a normal job. Hey, what’s with this sign?”

“Oh that? My business partner put it there (the other doctor).”
“What up with that?”
“Does it offend you?”
“Yes, it does offend me, it totally offends my sensibilities. I think it’s absurd and ridiculous.”, I visibly showed disgust.
“It drives him (the other doctor) nuts.”
“I also have another problem.”
“Okay, what is it?”

I explained the trouble with the dry eye lids. I find it amazing that he knew exactly what the problem was and wrote up the prescription without ever actually having taken a close look at my eyes. I have had this issue before and have had the same cream prescribed before.

“You want the bang for your buck? What are we going to do about this?”, he says pointing to the acne around my eyes, “I can give you something for that to decrease it and it will hurt less. For the scars you’ll have to see a dermatologist.”

Wow, he totally hit the nail on the spot. Many years ago another doctor offered me unsolicited advice on the acne. I ended up walking away from that check up and not going back to clinic ever. I was there to get vitamin B shots. When I walked in to the clinic the receptionist person immediately asked me if I was there for the acne treatments. What in hell? I explained that I was there to get my vitamin B shot (a fairly quick procedure). I found myself in the doctor’s office and right after the shot she asked me about the acne as well.

“But when people see you, the first thing they see is your face.”, she said with her hands gesturing across her cheeks.
“I’m okay with the face I have, thanks. Good bye.”, I walked away before she could do any more convincing. That clinic has a whole acne treatment section thing, so they were just trying to increase their clientele.

Anyway, back to this doctor. He spoke about the pain. That is was I hate about the acne. The scars and all, sure, whatever. It’s the pain that hurts. I accepted the prescription.

I figured I’d ask him about the hair falling as well. I asked him if I should do anything about it. He said that it depends on how comfortable I was losing the hair. He wrote me up a prescription for some drug and said that should I choose whether I wanted to use it or not based on my comfort level. I hate seeing long strands of hair fall off in the shower or when I’m doing wudu. That’s one of the main reasons I cut the hair so short. I don’t mind seeing short hair falling off. I’m choosing not to use the prescription.

Of course, what would a trip to the doctor’s be without any magic? I don’t remember any more, the last few times I’ve been there, I’ve done magic. This time I did two, yes count that two card effects. He’s the type of person that does not take his eyes off the hands and his reactions are equally interesting.

Maybe I should have my own sign: ONE PATIENT = ONE VISIT = NO MAGIC.

14 thoughts on “what’s up doc?”

  1. Funny that you should feel the need to sing for your supper, so to speak. But then, mebbe I do the same thing. My doc gets treated to my usual silly ‘woe is me’ stories and always gets a good laugh out of my misfortune.

    Can’t get something for nothing, eh?

  2. First of all, I really don’t understand this need to use “//” around words that you want to emphasize. I dislike that practice, I think it’s absurd.

    Secondly, I’m glad you do magic tricks for the doctor. I also think doctors are grossly overpaid.

  3. With the “//” I copied other folk who were doing it, but there are a few reasons I like it. Do you really want to know?

    Who then is not overpaid?

  4. Okay, so here are the reasons for using “//” for emphasis.

    Firstly/,/ it is always rendered as plain text in any text reader you use. For instance, email clients will often render *s as bold and _s as italics. So using “//” will ensure that the text you type is displayed in the exact same way.

    Secondly, it’s often used as the delimiter in regular expression strings. Regular expressions are used to check for patterns in text. So if I was to search for “/blah/” within the string “this blog is blah” that would be a positive match. The fact that you are looking for a certain pattern emphasizes it. Of course this connection is a stretch, but I like how it works out in my mind.

    I think I had one more reason when I initially offered to give reasons, but now I have forgotten.

  5. Okay, so here are the reasons for using “//” for emphasis.

    Firstly/,/ it is always rendered as plain text in any text reader you use. For instance, email clients will often render *s as bold and _s as italics. So using “//” will ensure that the text you type is displayed in the exact same way.

    Secondly, it’s often used as the delimiter in regular expression strings. Regular expressions are used to check for patterns in text. So if I was to search for “/blah/” within the string “this blog is blah” that would be a positive match. The fact that you are looking for a certain pattern emphasizes it. Of course this connection is a stretch, but I like how it works out in my mind.

    I think I had one more reason when I initially offered to give reasons, but now I have forgotten.

  6. i like the / / usage because it’s faster/more efficient than typing out the html code for italics. but i hate copying people, so i don’t use the / / myself.

  7. all-caps works, too, but i like the subtlety of italics over ALL-CAPS. italics are classier. but when we’re (i mean, i am) too lazy to type out html codes for italics, or click the italics command button in email programs, then the // works quite well. but what do i know? i never use it.

    i have no issues copying people in things that are good.

    that’s a pretty good philosophy, adnan.
    i just might have to copy that off you.

  8. all-caps is considered shouting in the netiquette.

    words /can/ be used for emphasis.
    or
    word can be /used/ for emphasis.

    this is /absolutely/ INSANE.

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