Me: You remember that time you fell down? And then you said, “I’m not hurt,” even though you were really hurt.
Person: Yeah.
Me: That’s why I don’t believe anything you say.

Me: Wow, Lee, nice threads.
Lee: I had this jacket made for me in Korea for thirty dollars.
Me: Can I have it?
Lee: No! It was made for me. It fits me perfectly.
Me: You sure I can’t have it?
Lee: Yeah, you can’t have it.
Me: Well, doesn’t hurt to ask, eh?
Lee: No. Doesn’t hurt to ask.
Me: Actually, that’s not true. You could possibly hurt or offend someone.
Lee: Let’s put this another way: if you don’t ask you don’t get.
Me: You know there are other ways. If you don’t steal you don’t get. If you don’t abduct you don’t get. Asking isn’t the only option.