I don’t know what it is. The thought of many words that I may write prevents me from doing so. At some point I will have all the words lined up in my mind. The sentences, the paragraph structure, even the jokes will all have been placed and polished. But yet there is nothing, because it’s not written.
Then when I come to write those thoughts, there is nothing. Sometimes I will go blank and sometimes the willingness to write those words will die. The more words required, the less willing I am to write them. The subject matter no longer as meaningful as it was in my mind. “Hah! Who would read this? Would I read this?”. But there is so much to say. I wish I could get as much out in few words. I wish I could transfer these thoughts without words and say nothing.
The unplanned thoughts flow easier in a way, the meaningless easier to convey. Never in my mind, the words and sentences form themselves. All of a sudden the medium has a meaning, and it’s beyond my mind. I wish I could say more.