When I was a little boy (I’m not sure what age, maybe four, maybe eight) I used to tease my parents to take me to see the rain. “Paani ki baarish” I would call it, rain of water. But of course rain consists of water and the mere mention of rain implies water falling from the sky. But in my mind it had to be said, perhaps that connection between rain and water wasn’t clear, so it had to be said out loud. “Paani ki baarish”, this rain of water.
My insistence on seeing this rain of water put my parents in quite the situation. They could not produce rain regardless of what it was made of. So they took me to malls or places where there was a fountain. Sure it didn’t fall from the sky, and it wasn’t even rain, but it was water and apparently enough to fulfil my demands.
It’s from the phrase that I wrote “Paani ki Baarish” about a year ago, and I’ll reproduce it here:
-–
dor se jo dikti hai, woh choti si khwahish hai
mujh pe jo barasti hai, woh paani ki baarish hai
boondoon ke tapakne mei, yaadoon ka barasna hai
khoye hai khayaaloon mei, ab khudko sambhalna hai
intezaar mei baithain hai, kuch mushkil se guzarna hai
dum se khadum lete hai, apni manzil se milna hai
dheere se jo aati hai, woh choti si khwahish hai
chuke jo guzarjati hai, woh paani ki baarish hai
-–
The “holier than thou” posts are supposed to be my rants on marriage, and I will be continuing them soon. This post, however, is to address something I said in the earlier post. I made mention that I was “soon to be married”. That is no longer true, they (them who shall henceforth be referred to as ‘they’ and ‘them’) called off the wedding three days before it was supposed to happen. This doesn’t change my views on the process of marriage from my earlier post, in fact, it reinforces those views.
I think my collection of feelings can be best described as odd. Just odd. Odd. There’s a lot to say about my feelings, hah, but I won’t get into that here. And I feel sorry for everyone involved, everyone (even ‘them’). And Good Lord do my parents ever not deserve this.
The day I was supposed to be married I went down to meet Todd, a good friend. The weather was great, though a bit chilly, and we walked around Harbourfront talking about stuff and jazz. I think he summed it up best when he said, “Think about it this way, sure you didn’t get married today, but you had a shawarma”.
Yes Todd, that was a good shawarma.
A part of me wants to lash out and say bitter piercing words, but I won’t.
I’ll just reproduce something else I wrote a whiles back:
-–
maghrib mein ho gareeb, to mashriq mein kya ameer thay
gintee tumhe na wahaan aati thi, na yahaan aati hai
par sukoon ab na raha, raatein khojati hai
neend tumhe na wahaan aati thi, na yahaan aati hai
karti hai baatein tumhari, diloon ko sab ke tang
sharam tumhe na wahaan aati thi, na yahaan aati hai
thodh ke apna ghuroor, karlo khuda ko yaad kabhi
par duaaein tumhe na wahaan aati thi, na yahaan aati ha
-–
So stuff happens, some people get bit by bugs and some people get hit by trucks. I land somewhere in between and there were no trucks involved. Stuff happens and things move on.
Alhamdulilah. I’m going to go re-watch Firefly now.
chalo, maaf kiya
par ye aasuoon ka jawab kaun deyga?
i’m sorry to hear things didn’t work out and hope you and your family and guests didn’t suffer badly. 🙁 Allah (swt) knows what’s best for us and i’A, something better lies in your future. que sera sera and all that.
to lighten your mood (or maybe not), here’s a little joss to go along with your firefly:
All i can say is, shit, man… I’m really sorry to hear that. Lemme know if you need anything… drop me a line anytime.
you didn’t get married, adnan…but you had your good shawarma, and i still came to toronto and we all had some rocking good times in there. and homecooked foods. let us not forget the foods at zb’s. that was still a pretty amazing sunday.
thank you for carrying on with the reunioning =)
you didn’t get married, adnan…but you had your good shawarma, and i still came to toronto and we all had some rocking good times in there. and homecooked foods. let us not forget the foods at zb’s. that was still a pretty amazing sunday.
thank you for carrying on with the reunioning =)
I’m sorry to hear this, too Adnan…I guess the only solace is that something worse could have happened: you could’ve actually gotten married! And consequently you would’ve had to deal with the related distress & unpleasantness for the rest of your life.
Allah (swt) has something better planned for you, no doubt 🙂 sigh.
*Their* loss, my friend. Definitely their loss.
Hey…
I don’t really know you but you are a fellow Hyderabadi I am told so “aise hi zaqm pe marham lagaane chale aaye!!”
Time heals. That’s all I can say. And time will also make you see the bigger picture, why Allah does what he does. All we can do is accept his wish humbly and pray that he heals the wound fast. I have been in your place not once but twice so I know how it feels..believe me! And so the strong inclination to comment…
The other thing…I loved your shaayri….
Ansuoon ka jawaab koi nahi deta. Khas kar jiskey liye hum rotey hain, wo to kabhi bi ehsaas tak nahi karta.
When we cry we just question God but sadly, he does not answer or may be we cannot hear him reply back. For once life seems to have been stopped and we feel that no one in this world ever understands us. Sometimes we get angry on God as to why this is happening to us all the time. But again we get no answer and we choose actually have no other choice but to wait.
p.s
i fell in love with your shayari :>
Thank you all for your kind words.
@Shadaan – thank you for reading the shayari. =)
@gurly – the question about the ansu is rhetorical, I don’t expect an answer from anyone. And the tears are not even mine. The question if there simply for thought, I think even forgiveness comes at a cost.
And I am in no way upset or angry at God. I don’t think “why me?”, I think “why not me?”. There are 6 billion people on the planet and we all have our problems. This is just my share from the mix, and that’s perfectly fine. Things happen, khuda khair kare, inshallah.
and thank you for reading the shayari as well. =)
ur welcom :>
i am a fan of your shayaries now :>
at the risk of sounding uncouth and uncultured, is it possible to get a translation of the shairi or will the magic “touch” be lost???