tell me how you are.
but please, only a word or two.

then we can talk about the weather.
oh, it’s so cold. oh, it’s so sunny.
there. i’ve told you the weather
as if you didn’t feel it on
your own skin.

okay, now let me talk about my
two year old for the next thirty
minutes and show you pictures.

and here we’ll talk about something
the both of us are equally
indifferent towards.

i’ve always wanted to kill you,
and boring you to death is the
only legal way.

shortbread cookie instructions

the stuff

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cup of butter (unsalted)
orange extract
chocolate chips
chocolate chip cookies

the work

i used a machine to mix stuff.

put butter into machine. mix.
put sugar into machine. mix more.

sugar and butter will stick to machine’s mixing rotating thing
and to the sides of the bowl thing.
get it off there and mix some more.

put in flour bit by bit while the mixer is mixing.
add orange extract during the bit by bit flour additions.

wait silently, or whistle while mixing and eventually
the mixture will turn into dough
like magic. but mostly science.

take the dough onto a board like thing
and knead it. with your hands!
for as long as you like, but not too long.

make dough into cookie like shapes and put it on some sheet.

put sheet in to oven pre-heated at 350F.
that’s fahrenheit, not celsius, let’s not get too excited here.

wait for 20-25 minute until cookie shapes turn a little brown.
take cookies out and let them chill out and hang for a while.

melt chocolate chip bits in microwave.
use spoon to stir the melted chips.
use spoon (preferably) to apply melted chocolate to cookies.
i applied them to half the top of the cookies.

wait for chocolate melt to unmelt.
wait over-night before eating.

end of wait.

if your shortbread cookies are not up to par,
eat the chocolate chip cookies instead.