so many times I feel that I don’t fit in, regardless of the people I’m hanging out with. I’m not sure if others feel the same way, but I know I feel that way. It doesn’t matter whether I’m with other muslims or magicians or folk at school or work, that feeling still remains to some extent.
It’s not that I think people don’t like me (although I’m sure there’s plenty in that line up), I’m sure some folk enjoy my “sense of humour” and I know I can bring the house down with the magic. But where am I without my wise cracks and a deck of cards? I’m still me, and that me feels that I don’t fit it. There are somethings that are so close and yet are so far it’s not even funny. Actually, sometimes it is funny.
Maybe I try too hard, perhaps it’s even at a subconcious level. Too hard to be funny, too hard to fit in. I’m not even sure what that means.
Maybe I need to let go for a while. Keep the wise cracks to myself and put a pause to the magic. Bring out the more silent me.