excuse me [insert name of
work, school, political,
religious or whatever authority
here], regarding that thing
you just said. while you said
it with passion, and may even
have meant it, what you said
is a crockashit.
Month: April 2010
In an interview with a consultant at work. The consultant is collecting data to improve the community aspect of our work website.
interviewer: What do you use Facebook for?
me: I use Facebook for stalking people.
…
interviewer: Do you use Twitter and Facebook often?
me: Yes, many times a day. Mostly at work. In fact, that’s pretty much what I do at work. Sometimes I get work done between checking Facebook and Twitter.
…
me: Maybe we could improve the user interface? There’s too many steps and people are internet stupid.
snailing around.
Your intellectual property is stupid.
leafed.
it is my heart – stephen crane
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter – bitter,” he answered;
“But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart.”– Stephen Crane
a man said to the universe – stephen crane
A man said to the universe:
“Sir I exist!”
“However,” replied the universe,
“The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation.”– Stephen Crane
selecting a reader – ted kooser
First, I would have her be beautiful,
and walking carefully up on my poetry
at the loneliest moment of an afternoon,
her hair still damp at the neck
from washing it. She should be wearing
a raincoat, an old one, dirty
from not having money enough for the cleaners.
She will take out her glasses, and there
in the bookstore, she will thumb
over my poems, then put the book back
up on its shelf. She will say to herself,
“For that kind of money, I can get
my raincoat cleaned.” And she will.– Ted Kooser
You know when you said, “that thing is the shit”? You had an extra ‘the’ in that sentence.