Preamble: I had sent a few links to this friend via MSN.

Ron: do you do any work other then send links and update facebook?
me: not really.
me: i have to sit here and look pretty. that takes effort.
Ron: for you that takes lots of effort
me: oh, snap!
me: i should blog this conversation.

In an interview with a consultant at work. The consultant is collecting data to improve the community aspect of our work website.

interviewer: What do you use Facebook for?
me: I use Facebook for stalking people.

interviewer: Do you use Twitter and Facebook often?
me: Yes, many times a day. Mostly at work. In fact, that’s pretty much what I do at work. Sometimes I get work done between checking Facebook and Twitter.

me: Maybe we could improve the user interface? There’s too many steps and people are internet stupid.

Me: You remember that time you fell down? And then you said, “I’m not hurt,” even though you were really hurt.
Person: Yeah.
Me: That’s why I don’t believe anything you say.

Me: Wow, Lee, nice threads.
Lee: I had this jacket made for me in Korea for thirty dollars.
Me: Can I have it?
Lee: No! It was made for me. It fits me perfectly.
Me: You sure I can’t have it?
Lee: Yeah, you can’t have it.
Me: Well, doesn’t hurt to ask, eh?
Lee: No. Doesn’t hurt to ask.
Me: Actually, that’s not true. You could possibly hurt or offend someone.
Lee: Let’s put this another way: if you don’t ask you don’t get.
Me: You know there are other ways. If you don’t steal you don’t get. If you don’t abduct you don’t get. Asking isn’t the only option.