Author: thisduck

found out about this from barsaat’s blog.

</embed> <div style=”text-align:center; width:340px;height:25px;margin-top:0px; border-top:1px solid rgb(150,150,150);background-color:rgb(0,0,0);padding:5px 0 0 0; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:11px;”>Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™</div>

no really, seriously.

I finally did it. At least to some extent. I spent a day at work being serious. I loved it. It’s so much nicer being different than what you’re perceived to be. Specially when you know what you’re really like.

But it’s not a piece of cake. Because it’s so easy sometimes to get reactions by saying that odd sentence, making that facial expression or gesturing with the hands. It’s tempting. I know exactly what I’m saying and what I’m doing, and most of the times I know exactly what reaction I’m going to get. Although sometimes it backfires… :

… I need to be more careful. no really, I need to be more careful.

I just need my mind to be free and not feel the need to do anything. Not feel the need to be serious or funny or magical. Just let things happen as they come. But most of all to be who I think I am, and do what I think I’m capable of.

okay so the site is back up… was down for about a week.

I need to update this more often. So much interesting stuff going on in my mind that I should get into words on the web.

Review old and new movies, and hopefully watch some along the way.

Do more self-analysis bits, see if I’ve done any of the stuff I said I would do, or wouldn’t do.

Okay, need to update. good… somewhat…

so many times I feel that I don’t fit in, regardless of the people I’m hanging out with. I’m not sure if others feel the same way, but I know I feel that way. It doesn’t matter whether I’m with other muslims or magicians or folk at school or work, that feeling still remains to some extent.

It’s not that I think people don’t like me (although I’m sure there’s plenty in that line up), I’m sure some folk enjoy my “sense of humour” and I know I can bring the house down with the magic. But where am I without my wise cracks and a deck of cards? I’m still me, and that me feels that I don’t fit it. There are somethings that are so close and yet are so far it’s not even funny. Actually, sometimes it is funny.

Maybe I try too hard, perhaps it’s even at a subconcious level. Too hard to be funny, too hard to fit in. I’m not even sure what that means.

Maybe I need to let go for a while. Keep the wise cracks to myself and put a pause to the magic. Bring out the more silent me.

My first name yielded an extremely low score, so I decided to do the full name thing.

<table align=center border=1><td>Pholph’s Scrabble Generator

My Scrabble© Score is: 34.
What is your score? Get it here.</td></table>

Just played Scrabble. I’m not particularly good with words and all. But it’s a fun game. Haven’t played Scrabble is nearly 10 years. That’s a long time. Board games are fun.

Urge to play monopoly rising… still rising.

For the new year…

I could take up smoking and then quit smoking… that would be an accomplishment. I’ve always wanted to quit smoking.

Okay, the real stuff now:

1. Smile more.
2. Talk less.

That’s all I can think of right now… might add more as I think of them…

note: I don’t smoke, I never have. Infact, I really really dislike (hate) it when I see friends light up a smoke.

No really. I did. I used to rhyme and write poem like things. Not that I was any good. But I used to try. This is way back, like in grade 8 and early high school.

You know I could have done something real cheesy. I could have slid in a rhyme in the title, or within the post itself. But I didn’t, good on me.

I wonder why I stopped.