life

a thousand smiles, a thousand frowns
a thousand miles, a thousand towns

a thousand words, a thousand lines
a thousand hurts, a thousand times

a thousand tries, a thousand falls
a thousand cries, a thousand calls

a thousand beats, a thousand sounds
a thousand streets, a thousand rounds

a thousand pains, a thousand highs
a thousand stains, a thousand lies

a thousand burns, a thousand joys
a thousand turns, a thousand toys

a thousand ways, a thousand whiles
a thousand days, a thousand smiles

zindagi aarahaa hoon mein
(life, here i come)

hold on

what the hell
is free verse?

this is why
poetry is such
a sham.

how in hell
can charles freaking
bu-
kows-
ki
take a couple
of (run-on)
sentences,

put
one, two
or three words
per line and
call it
poetry?

even kasparov has to
go the full distance
of the board
every time
before he can turn
a pawn into
a queen.

beauty, i suppose,
is in the eye
of the beholder.

it’s just that
some of us
have to go through
many more eyes
before someone

holds on.

in conversation

I’ve had a couple of instant messaging conversations (chats, the kids call them these days) in the past week that I would like to share. I am using only their first names to “protect” their (un)important identities.

The preamble to this one is that I was chatting with a friend but messages weren’t getting through. So I tried sending a message to someone else:

-–

me: test
Artin: test successfully failed
me: your face is fail.
Artin: Now that’s the Adnan we all know and love
me: =)
this, i’m going to blog, or something.
-–

In my attempts to be more social, Todd and I were supposed to visit this techie meet-up thing.

-–

Todd: I’m still planning on going, but I may be late. Our release got bumped to tomorrow
me: oh
geez todd, i don’t like socializing with people.
Todd: ha! You’re a regular schmoozer. Just bring the cards 😉
me: i don’t like new people.
Todd: just don’t tell them that
me: fine, i won’t.
-–

Then again with Todd on the day of the meet-up:

-–

me: so we’re still good for 6:30?
Todd: 7:30 would be more likely
me: you should be ashamed of yourself.
the thing starts at 7.
Todd: fashionably late?
me: i don’t do fashion.
Todd: That much was obvious
me: i’m going to blog this conversation.
-–

to create and share

What do you want to do when you grow up?

I want to create and share. Create things where I enjoy the process of creating them, and then sharing would almost come as a natural follow through to that. Because if you enjoy the result as much as you enjoyed the process, or if you enjoy the result in any capacity, then why not share it too?

The process of creation doesn’t have to involve creating something from scratch. It could be that you take something old, or something that already exists and add to it, thus in the process creating something new. And it may not be so for everyone but I’ve figured out that it is these basic desires, if I can call them that, that bring me closer to any concept of happiness. To create and share.

Cooking comes to mind as a perfect example of this. For those that enjoy cooking and then share the results with others, how awesome that must be. Even if you follow recipes and create something someone else originated. I think the feeling you get is still much the same. Probably a better feeling if you did create and originate what you share. The extra excitement of “I came up with this” can be nice. Though originality is very overrated.

I suppose you could share stuff that you haven’t created. Which is awesome in its own way, but the joy in creating and sharing, I think, is something else. And if you’re not doing both then you’re missing out.

Whether you create music, write stuff, take pictures, grow a garden, design buildings, or teach, whatever it is. All of these fall under that create and share pattern. Unless, of course, you create but you don’t share. Which I think is a shame. I guess there are many reasons why one would be unwilling to share. Perhaps it’s not “good enough”, and maybe it really isn’t good enough, but so what? Maybe if you don’t share then you don’t have to be judged on what you’ve created. Then the flaws found in what you create might come off as a projection of your own flaws. Yeah, it might, but so what? Maybe it’ll even help you improve. I guess we all have our own reasons for not sharing. Though the only reasons (that I can think of at this moment) are that what you created is extremely personal, or perhaps it hurts others. But apart from that, I don’t think you’re protecting yourself by not sharing. Hah, but it’s not as if I am immune to all that I say here. In either case, we’re not all that unique, so if we’re thinking/creating something, chances are there’s other folk who think along the same lines.

And that in a nutshell becomes a guiding star for what I want to do not just in my future, but in the present as well. It’s not a concrete direction but it’s something to measure my actions against. That’s good enough for me.